Unspoken
by o0whitelily0o
Summary: Ciel: The Last Autumn Story - Daughter x January - They had plenty of time to talk now, but so much was left unsaid.


**Author's Note:** _This is a scene taking place after vol. 14, which I have only heard vague spoilers about and seen the raws for. As such, it contains vague spoilers of its own, and plenty of inaccuracies that will likely clash with the actual translation, whenever it may come. But I couldn't help but write it anyway, because this ship is adorable and awesome and everyone should read Ciel._

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><p>"We'll stop here for the night." January looked up from his seat in the small carriage, and nodded mutely at the older blonde man in the driver's seat. The pair had been travelling nonstop for the entire day, in an effort to put as much distance between them and Newton as possible before the king sent out soldiers to find them. For now, though, continuing on would be impossible, so they had come to a rest in a heavily wooded area, some ways off the beaten path.<p>

'_It would have been good to get a little further away_,' Daughter thought as he swung out of the driver's seat, '_But it really can't be helped._' January hadn't said anything, but it was clear he wasn't feeling well. His complexion was obviously flushed, and he was struggling to keep himself awake. It wasn't surprising; between the exhaustion, the stress, and the sword wound, it would have been strange for him to be all right. He needed rest- real rest- badly. Fortunately, they had made good time so far, and could afford to stop for the night at least. Besides, after coming so far for him, he wasn't going to let January get himself sick and die just because the younger man had no sense of self-preservation.

January, on the other hand, was not so optimistic. He leaned weakly against the inside of the carriage, barely able to keep his eyes open. His breathing was ragged, and he shook badly, even considering what a cold night it was. And yet despite it all, he could not think of anything except how certain he was that Daughter would grow to resent him for all of this.

'_I had decided to do this for his sake. So he would be able to live happily and freely, and not be held back by anything… least of all me._' He thought, watching Daughter check over their horse, and continuing to stare blankly in the same direction even after he had moved out of his line of sight. '_Why… would he throw that away? He'll regret it, he'll realize I'm not worth it, but it'll be too late to go back by then. It's already too late-_'

"Hey, I'm coming in." Startled out of his depressive thoughts, January instinctively shrunk further into the corner of his seat. Daughter climbed in opposite of him, a heavy quilt in his arms. Without a word, he sat down next to January, unrolled it over the both of them, making sure his friend was completely covered. "You should move closer to me." He said, bordering an outright order. "It'll be warmer that way."

Without a word of protest, January did as he was told. When they brushed against each other, Daughter almost flinched at how cold the younger man was. How long had he been freezing like this without saying a word? It was, of course, in January's nature, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Setting his jaw in frustration, Daughter tried not to fight the urge to scold him, and instead sought out January's hand under the quilt, grabbing it tightly once he found it. Sure enough it was cold as ice, even against his own skin, which had been exposed to the winter air all day. At least this way he could help warm up the younger man faster.

And still, January said nothing. The exhaustion was really getting to him, and his thoughts were becoming fragmented and cyclic. He had saved Daughter's life from the executioner's block, and Daughter had already given it up once again. Why? January already owed him so much; for being a friend when he had none, for worrying about his safety, for chasing away the nightmares… for _everything_. And if he had to sell his life and freedom to the king by becoming a mage in order to repay that debt… well, that wasn't too steep a price. Not for him.

But in the end it didn't matter. Because Daughter was his side as a fugitive, instead of in Newton enjoying his freedom the way he should be.

It was much warmer now. Soothed and relaxed by the heat, January found his eyelids drooping. He was so tired… his head drooped to the side, coming to a rest against Daughter's shoulder, who stiffened the way he always did at unexpected contact. He felt Daughter shift slightly to look down at him in puzzlement, and January lifted his face to meet his gaze. They stayed that way, all alone on that dark winter's night, not saying a word. For some reason, Yvienne's words from a long ago day surfaced in his thoughts.

_There will be someone- someday for sure- who will think it's worth it to give up a life for you._

Without entirely being aware he was doing it, January found himself opening his mouth and speaking. "…I love you."

Daughter blanched.

Then he turned completely red.

Then he started to shout, "Don't-!" before catching himself and lowering his voice, "Don't say things like that without any warning! Idiot!" His grip on January's hand tightened, and his heart seemed to be beating twice as hard all of a sudden. He looked away, caught somewhere between embarrassment and frustration.

Daughter tried to get himself back under control, and ran his free hand through his chopped hair. He started to turn back, but couldn't quite look at the younger man, who had slipped right back into silence. His stomach started to sink, certain that he had hurt January's feelings. '_I know I should apologize…_' he thought, closing his eyes, _'But that came out of nowhere! No normal person would be prepared for that._' He already understood his importance to the former count; actions spoke louder than words, and part of him still couldn't really believe what January had been prepared to sacrifice for him.

But… but _still_, when he put it in words so _bluntly_…

Daughter snuck a quick glance at the younger man, who still seemed to be quietly brooding. A normal person would have understood his feelings from actions alone- but January might refuse to. The flustered blush remained plastered on his face, as he tried to convince himself it was only words, words that said nothing he wasn't prepared to back up.

"I… I love. You. Too." He finally managed to spit out, finally turning back to face January properly and-

-saw that January was fast asleep.

For a moment, Daughter felt very much like tossing him out of the carriage.

But the moment passed, and instead he gave a defeated sigh. He pulled the quilt up over January's shoulders, brushing some of that unmistakable ash-red hair out of his sleeping face. He looked peaceful, for the first time since this whole mess started.

Daughter smiled- the smile full of exasperation and fondness that had long since been reserved for this one person- and rested his head against January's, closing his own eyes. Whatever happened from now on, he would never regret deciding to stay by this man's side- even if he had to spend a lifetime proving it to him.


End file.
